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About Turin

Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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After the baths, I wander over to Piazza Giusti. It’s this cute little square with a fountain and all. I sit down, just people-watching. And let me tell you, the characters here are something else. There’s this guy selling gelato, and he’s got the biggest smile. I mean, who wouldn’t be happy selling ice cream? I’m tempted to get one, but I’m still full from breakfast. Ugh, regret.

Slitti: Chocolate tasting near the Duomo